Hey, did you hear there’s a pandemic
going on? The answer
is, obviously, yes. Given the
daily government announcements,
the focus on death rates, the neverending
arguments about what we
should be doing to flatten the curve,
the almost competitive comparison of
one region vs the other. And that’s just
the media and government sources.
Then you get bombarded by the
conflicting opinions of friends and
family. Those who tell you “it’s no
big deal, get on with your life” while
others you trust are saying “take this
seriously and lock yourself down.”
The situation has got to the point
of overwhelm for many. Emotions
swing from fearful to elated depending
on that hour’s latest story. People
are feeling confused, tired, sleepless
due to this never-ending stress
inducement. The high rates of stress
combined with the lack of great sleep
increases the body’s stress response
even further.
These Are Important Days
Sure, there are days when the feelings
can get so overwhelming that the bad
news spiral takes over. It can feel like
‘the world’ has turned against you and
nothing goes right. The days you feel
this way can become major positive
turning points in your life, if you allow
them to be.
When you allow ‘negative momentum’
to grow during your day, like a
snowball rolling down a hill, it accumulates
more anger, pain, victimhood
and frustration. As the momentum
grows it’s as if you become a magnet
for all that is wrong. You see wrong,
pain, hurt, everywhere and in every
situation. You’re quicker to anger,
quick to complain, quicker to judge
others and sadly quicker to say things
you’ll regret in the future.
The metaphoric lens you begin to see
the world through filters out the good
and focuses you on the bad. Then the
momentum, quietly and unnoticeably,
gains speed and control.
You even begin to create hurt/pain/
frustration even in the most innocuous
situations.
“Hey, that guy stole “MY” parking
spot!” (as if it was yours). “I can’t
believe they didn’t TEXT me first.”
“Wow, I left them a message and they
didn’t immediately respond” “I can’t
believe they …….” Looking and judging
external situations and making
every situation about you and how it
is obviously directed at hurting you.
Like the world is “Out To Get You.”
If you let it, the negative spiral gets
so tight that it becomes incredibly
destructive. So much so that people
DO begin to avoid your phone calls
and texts, people DO begin to not
appreciate you, people DO start to
say things like “Wow, what’s up with
them? I think I’ll avoid them for a
while.” In other words, IF the spiral
is allowed to continue it becomes
self-fulfilling.
Can You Be Honest With Yourself
And Stop The Spiral?
Our job as mindful, thoughtful and intelligent
human beings is to identify,
then STOP, the negative spiral in its
tracks before it gets completely out
of control. When you feel it gathering
speed, it is important to stop, take a
few breaths and be aware that it is
taking over.
It is in that moment, right after your
3 deep breaths, you have a choice to
make; the choice whether to let the
negative spiral continue or to take
steps to stop it. By the way, making
NO choice is making the choice to
go down with the negative spiral. In
other words, you must choose, there
is no choice.
If your choice is to arrest the negative
spiral, then you can’t start immediately.
There are many ways to begin
here’s a very quick exercise you can
do right now while you are reading
this paper. Take a moment to stop
what you’re doing and tell yourself
3 things, small or large, that you’re
grateful for. OK, go ahead try it. I’ll
wait right here until you’re ready to
continue reading……………………
………………… OK, welcome
back. By taking those 30 seconds
to think about the important people,
situations and items in your life, you
slowed the negative momentum. You
may not have stopped it but slowing
is the first step. You can do this, and
many other, exercises as often as
you’d like during the day. The more
mindful you are, the more control
you create.
You’re worth the 30 seconds it takes
complete the exercise and reset your
perspective. The world right now is
filled with enough stress and negative
emotions generated by the continual
pandemic news, there’s no need for
us to add even more. These regular
virus updates are not going to disappear
anytime soon and when they do,
they will be followed by the negative
economic news updates. Just knowing
that fact helps you se why this a
great time to become aware of the
destructive power of negative spirals
and that you can stop them if you
choose to do so.
We can all begin by being present
and aware to the good in your world.
Forcing ourselves to battle against the
negative tide is not easy and you may
not be successful at it everyday, that’s
OK. Keep working at it. You’re fighting
a big force, so it will take some
effort, but winning this battle can be
life changing.
Are you there, happiness? Or are you
hidden around the next bend?
For many the belief is that happiness
is just ahead around the bend. The
feeling of happiness being just out
of reach gives us an excuse to be
unhappy, angry, and negative. People
with that future happiness mindset
miss out on being present to the large
and small moments of happiness they
can create right now in mid pandemic.
In fact it is a great time:
To be present to your habits and
thoughts with the goal of managing
them in a healthy manner.
To be thankful for what you have, and
hopeful for what may come. While
remaining realistic about the ups and
downs of the journey ahead.
To break old habits that no longer
serve you well and replace them with
new ones.
Start today and proceed one day at
a time.
Please beware of destination addiction
which is defined as a preoccupation
with the idea that happiness is the
next place, the next job, the next year.
Until you release the idea that happiness
is somewhere else it will never
fully arrive where you currently are.
Be Well, Be Safe, Be Compassionate